12.17.2003

Prime Numbers
Here are three Letterman Top Ten Lists from back in the days when he was on NBC.

Top Ten Least Popular Supermarket Chains

10. Pick 'n' Lick

9. Larva Town

8. Food Crypt

7. Risky's

6. Price Hiker

5. Rex Reed's Grocery Rodeo

4. The Expiration Date Grab Bag

3. I'm-Not-Wearing-Pantry

2. Hitler's

1. Bag This!


=========

Top Ten Least Exciting Superpowers for Comic Book Superheroes

10. Super spelling

9. Lightning-fast mood swings

8. Really bendy thumb

7. Unusually natural smile when posing for photographs

6. Ability to calm jittery squirrels

5. Power to shake exactly two aspirin out of a bottle

4. Ability to get tickets to Goodwill Games

3. Power to score with other superheroes' wives

2. Ability to communicate with corn

1. Magnetic colon


=========

Top Ten Rejected Names for Kentucky Fried Chicken

10. Lifeless Bird Lumps

9. KFC and CPR

8. Hot Oily Hens

7. Greaseland

6. The You're-a-Little-Too-Late Petting Zoo

5. Heart Attack Helper

4. Jiffy Lube (already taken)

3. Home of the Soggy, Grease-Stained Bucket o' Fun

2. Food, Folks, and Fat

1. Artery Busters