Shopper Toppers
Here is a list of newspaper headlines featured on The Simpsons.

My favorites:

AMERICA'S FAVORITE PENCIL
#2 Is #1

SQUIRREL RESEMBLING ABRAHAM LINCOLN FOUND

WOMAN WEDS APE
Dick Cavett Born

BURNS' BIRTHDAY TODAY
Credits Long Life To Satan

DOG KILLS CAT, SELF

NUTS TO SOUP
by Homer Simpson, Food Critic

FIRST DAY OF SPRING
Ants, Picnickers, Reach Last-Minute Accord

SLEEP IMPORTANT, SAY EXPERTS
Slow News Day Grips Springfield