Satan's Whiskers
Here's an excerpt from a Stephen Fry essay called "The Moustaches from Hell," which was written during the 1991 Gulf war.

It is incidentally fascinating, isn't it, how so many of the wicked characters of this century have been comically moustached? The Kaiser had a perfectly priceless pair of nonsenses that looked as if they were melting. Stalin's moustache, of course, grew bigger every time you turned away from it and gave the appearance, as P.G. Wodehouse used to say, of having been grown under glass. Hitler's becomes especially amusing when you picture him shaving every morning. The point about facial topiary, after all, is that it is deliberate and therefore screams the owner's vanity. Each a.m. Hitler must have got his razor and delicately reaffirmed the boundaries of that silly black thumb-print of bristle with two careful downstrokes. Had his moustache been a freak of nature, like Gorbachev's gravy-stained pate, we would have felt sorry for him, but it was in fact absolutely deliberate.

Saddam, for some reason known only to himself, favours the Silent Comedy Barman style. Every time he appears on television I feel certain he is about to cross his eyes, haul up his apron, spit on his hands and throw Laurel and Hardy into the street for nonpayment of a bill.

Here is the website of the World Beard and Moustache Championships.