5.14.2004

Rearview Mirrors
The following was written by Dave Eggers and is from his Spin magazine review of Kings of Leon.

A week before this U.K. trip, I had one of those mind-crushing conversations with a friend who thought -- who always thinks -- everything is less good now than it once was. My friend, and people like him, need to be beaten with clubs, subdued, and then caged and poked with broom handles. I don't even know why I'm bothering to give this bastard, who never shaves his neck, the benefit of my brilliant argumentative skills. His and his ilk's pessimism is never a reflection on the actual state of the world or of any art form, but more often a mirror of their own decaying bodies and brains. They look back fondly on some time when they weren't secreting so many gases and liquids, when they didn't scare small children, when they could dance in public without looking epileptic. But are they actually paying attention now, to the changing world? Are they open to it; are they actually trying to enjoy new things but somehow failing? No, no, no. They close their ears and eyes, and they bitch about better days. There is legislation making its way through the House of Representatives that would require the removal, via carnivorous birds, of these people's tongues, and I support this legislation wholeheartedly.